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Windows: Proof that Microsoft has a roomful of monkeys with keyboards.
Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
I make enough goofs each day, but THIS ONE doesn't count.
Misspelled?  Impossible.  My modem is error correcting.
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
If you can't make it good, make it big.
Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.
Wife: Do you still love me? - Husband: I'm still here, aren't I?
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine
The devil made me do it
Windows NT is about as scalable as the state of Luxembourg
Beer makes you smarter, it made bud-weiser
I'm no expert, but if I were as good as I think I am, I'd be a pro...
Life is full of undocumented features
Don't call me a complete idiot - I'm missing some parts
My ideas are not my own.  They have been implanted by someone else
To a man whose only tool is a hammer, every problem is a nail
USER ERROR: Replace user and press any key to continue.
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble - When you're perfect in every way
My opinions are not my own, they are all forced on me by my robot friends
If you are not the lead dog, the view is always the same.
Who is General Failure?  And why is he reading my hard drive?
Reality is a temporary condition brought on by lack of drugs.
Dogs are everywhere
If fashion is your trade then when you're naked I guess you must be unemployed
"If you can't make it good, make it look good." Bill Gates, 1995 
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.
If winning isn't important then why keep score?
*** ( This line is shareware, send me $10 please ) ***
Standards are great.  Everybody should have one.
There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better.
Our market research has determined that there is no demand for OS/2 "^"applications so I wish our customers would quit asking for it. "^"      - Unnamed Lotus executive